It's tough being a working mom. Nah it's tough being a mom. Period.

Every day is a dilemma.

It's been 7 months since I went back to work. He's now not only used to his grandparents, but also very sticky to them.

Dilemma #1: Mommy = bad mood? When he's in a good mood in the morning, I have to rush to get him and myself ready and we have no chance to spend quality time together. By the time we get to see him, we have to eat dinner, then rush (again) to bring him home for bed. No time for quality time, just grouchy and some crying. Sigh.

Dilemma #2: As long as you're happy, baby. Compared to the time I first started work, I can be more at ease because I know he's now very used to his grandparents. Perhaps he even prefers being with his grandparents. It hurts when he'd rather have granny or grandpa carry him, when he's not seen mommy and daddy for the whole day. But well, as long as he's happy and well, I guess my feelings are secondary.

Dilemma #3: When I do get time with him, putting him to sleep is always such a challenge that it drains me so much I sometimes am really really tired of motherhood.

And those are just the tip of the ice berg So many other things on my mind I don't even know where to start.

1. My self-modified sleep training methods doesn't seem to be working these few days. (Or is he just teething? Or not used to a different environment?) I was worried this might happen when we move here. Cal is away this week and. To make things simpler for me, I decided to move to Cal's parents' so I won't have to bring Cayden to and fro everyday. But tonight and the night before, he refused to sleep even when he's clearly tired. He cried really hard until he puked on Monday. It was really worrying. I hope it's just teething. Otherwise re-sleep training will be PAINFUL.

2. For the first time in his life, on 10th Apr, mommy will not be around to tuck him into bed. (Maybe grandpa, grandma or daddy can find another cry-free way to put him to bed?) Putting him to sleep is the only constant thing I have been doing in his life. I can't feed him all the time, I've given up bathing him on weekdays, even teaching I don't stress myself too much about it if we can't sit down together on a weekday to read a book. And now bedtime routine too?? I feel like its the last thing we have together.....

3. Work is exploding

4. Cayden had some rashes on his hands - was it the dirty grass? Formula (can't be cos he's been drinking for a few weeks and had been fine)? Or could it be HFMD?!? (Good thing it's getting better. But I noticed some on his face today)

5. My tail bone is aching again - the same pain I got after giving birth

Well, that's why I say - its tough being a mom, whether SAHM, full time working mom or self-employed mom.