Mummy can soon join the club of Kai Kai & Jia Jia

And we continue to battle Cayden's sleep problems....

Establishing good sleep habits: 6 to 9 months

Typical sleep at this age 

Babies this age need about 14 hours of sleep per day and are capable of sleeping for as long as seven hours at a time. If your baby sleeps for longer than that, she's probably waking up briefly but has figured out how to settle herself back to sleep - a sign that she's becoming a good sleeper. She's probably having a couple of hour-and-a-half to two-hour naps each day by now, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Keeping consistent times for bed and naps will help to regulate her sleep patterns. 

How you can help your child to settle and sleep 

At this age, these are some of the best things you can do to help your baby settle and sleep at night:

Establish and follow a bedtime routine.
While you've probably already set up some sort ofbedtime routine, at this age your child will really begin to participate in it. Whether your routine includes giving your baby a bath, playing a quiet game, getting your child ready for bed, reading a bedtime story or two or singing a lullaby, make sure you do it in the same order and at the same time every night.

Your child will appreciate the consistency (babies like having routines and schedules that they can count on), and your bedtime routine will also signal that it's time to wind down and get ready for sleep.

Keep your child's daily routine - including bedtimes and naptimes - consistent.
You'll both benefit from having a daily routine which includes set times for bed and naps. That doesn't mean your baby has to eat lunch at exactly 12:15 every afternoon, but it does mean that you should generally try to stick to a predictable schedule. When your baby naps, eats, plays, and gets ready for bed at about the same time every day, she'll be much more likely to fall asleep easily.

Make sure your child has plenty of opportunities to fall asleep on her own.
If you want your baby to sleep through the night without calling for you, she needs to learn to fall asleep by herself. Put her down before she nods off, and try not to let her become dependent on rocking or breastfeeding to fall asleep. If she cries, the next move is up to you; most experts advise waiting at least a few minutes to see if she's really upset. Some other approaches are shown below in our Approaches to sleep problemssection. 

Potential pitfalls 

Babies who have never had sleep problems may suddenly start waking up at night or have difficulty falling asleep at this age. Why? Sleep disturbances often come hand-in-hand with separation anxiety, when she wakes in the night, misses you, and worries you won't return.

They may also be linked with your baby reaching major milestones in cognitive and motor development. Around now, she is learning to sit up, roll over, crawl, and possibly even pull herself up to a standing position - quite a list of achievements! Not surprisingly, she probably won't want to stop practicing her new skills at bedtime and may get so excited that she'll wake up to try sitting up just one more time.

However, if she gets too energetic - or worse, if she sits or stands up and can't get back down - she won't be able to go back to sleep right away. If that's the case, she'll soon start crying for you. You will need to teach her how to lie down if she's stuck in an upright position, but how you help her soothe herself back to sleep is up to you. Most experts say it's fine to go in and check on her, but after that the advice varies. See ourApproaches to sleep problems below.

A quick note: This burst in development isn't the same as a growth spurt, so feeding your baby during the night won't help her sleep better; in fact, it may prolong the problem and make it worse.

You may also want to try this tip from a sleep expert: "If your baby is going to bed after 8:30 p.m. and all of a sudden she begins to wake during the night, you'll find that, surprisingly, she's much more likely to sleep through the night if you move her bedtime earlier by a half hour. It really works. Try it." 

Approaches to sleep problems 

What do you do when your child keeps waking up at night - and you know she's old enough to sleep all the way through? If you want her to sleep through the night without calling for you, the main thing is to make sure she learns how to settle herself back down - by finding her thumb, cuddling a transitional object, or some other way.

At this age, your child will probably be able to soothe herself, but you may still need to help her develop self-comforting techniques. Most of the experts agree that you should try to avoid letting your child become dependent on external conditions such as music, lighting, and feeding to fall asleep; if she does, she'll need the same things every time she wakes up at night before she can drop off again.

When it comes to getting your six to nine-month old baby to sleep through the night, there is no one right approach. Look through the suggestions below from a variety of experts and choose a strategy which you feel could work for you.

Approach 1
As long as you're putting your baby to sleep on her own at bedtime, it's all right to do what you think will help her go back to sleep, such as rocking her or pacing the floor until she falls asleep. If her bedtime routine is consistent, night waking should diminish in a few weeks. If this doesn't work, try a checking routine: if your child is crying, go back into her room. Pat her on the back and tell her that everything is okay, but that it's time to go to sleep. Don't pick her up or cuddle her; be gentle but firm. Leave. Wait about five minutes, then check again. Do this repeatedly until she falls asleep, gradually increasing the time you're gone.

Approach 2
It's important to put your baby down when she's awake so she'll learn to settle herself to sleep, both when you first put her down and if she wakes up during the night. If you're not doing this, consider changing your nighttime routine. If your baby won't stay asleep, try letting her cry for progressively longer intervals of time before you go to her. Start at five minutes, increase to 10, and so on. Between intervals, you can spend about two to three minutes with your baby, reassuring her by talking to her and possibly patting her on the back. Don't pick her up or rock her or give her a pacifier or a bottle to help calm her down - she'll only learn to depend on these conditions to fall asleep and won't be able to do it on her own.

Approach 3
Your baby should be sleeping eight hours at a stretch by now. If she wakes up at night, give her a few minutes to settle herself before going to her. If she keeps crying, talk to and comfort her, but don't pick her up, take her to your bed, or feed her (unless you're positive she's really hungry and not just seeking solace).

Approach 4
With developmental milestones coming on fast and furious, many babies this age wake at night because they're just too excited to sleep. If your baby wakes up after only a few hours, let her find her own way back to sleep using self-comforting techniques such as thumb sucking. Once she's a little older and the risk of cot death is lower, you can give her a transitional object such as a teddy, too. When she wakes up, don't feed her or jump up and go to her at her first cry.

Approach 5
Be flexible. Don't let your baby cry it out. Instead, try to find the source of her wakefulness (such as a full diaper, hunger, upset routines during the day, a stuffy nose, or even irritating pajamas). Increase her daytime attachment to you (breastfeeding, carrying her in a sling and so on) and let dad play the role of nighttime co-comforter so both parents can help their child fall back to sleep.

There is no "right" way to encourage your child to settle and sleep through the night. You need to choose an approach that will work for you and your family.

Are we doing it wrong??

6 sleep mistakes parents make and how to avoid them
Getting young children to sleep, and to stay asleep, is one of the biggest challenges of early parenthood. Fortunately, we can help you side-step the most common sleep mistakes and improve your chances of a good night's rest.


Mistake 1: putting your child to bed too late
When you've been at work all day, it can be tempting to keep your baby or toddler up so you can spend more time with him. Or maybe you hope he'll become so tired, he'll eventually crash out.

Whatever the reason, it's not a good idea to keep your child up. When babies and toddlers get over-tired, they find it more difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. They tend to wake up earlier than if they went to bed at a more reasonable hour, too.

It’s much better to have a bedtime routine in place and stick to it. Don’t wait until your child is yawning and rubbing his eyes to put it in action. Even 15 to 20 minutes of extra sleep can make all the difference.


Mistake 2: relying on motion
Have you ever breathed a sigh of relief as your baby snoozes in his car seat or baby swing? While this can provide you with a well-deserved break, don't fall into the trap of relying on motion to get your baby to fall asleep. It's impractical to have to take your baby for a drive every night. He's also unlikely to get the deep, restful sleep he needs.

It's fine to use motion to soothe your baby if he's upset or fussy. Just don't make part of his regular bedtime routine.


Mistake 3: overstimulation
While you may have put a mobile above your baby's cotfor comfort, the rotating toys, sounds and lights can be a distraction. Watching them will keep him awake rather than teach him that it's nighttime.

It's much better to put your baby to sleep in a nearly pitch black room, or a darkened room with very little light streaming in. Don't worry about him being afraid. He's too young to have developed nighttime fears. A fan or white noise album may also help, as it will muffle any noise from the rest of the house or outside.

As your child gets older, a soft night light can soothe any fears. Don't let him watch any television just before bedtime. Even falling asleep in front of his favourite DVD means he will probably lose half an hour of precious sleep. This could affect his mood and behaviour the next day, which no one wants!


Mistake 4: skipping the bedtime routine
With a baby, you might assume that a routine consisting of a bath, a book and a lullaby isn't yet necessary. As your child gets older, you may start to feel he's too old for a bedtime routine. Or maybe you feel too tired to continue with it.

But having a series of calming, pleasing activities before bedtime is important, as it prepares your little one for sleep. Even adults benefit from having some kind of wind-down routine each night. You can't expect your child to go straight from a busy day to bed either. He simply won't get the sleep he needs.

You can create any routine you like for your child. Just make sure it's a series of relaxing steps that happen in the same order at about the same time every night.


Mistake 5: inconsistency
A couple of times a week, when he's clingy, it's tempting to lie down with your toddler in your bed until he falls asleep. Or maybe you put your preschooler down in his room but allow him to crawl into bed with you in the night. Before you know it, your marital bed is a family bed.

Your child won't be able to understand why you move him into his own bed sometimes, and allow him to stay in yours on other occasions. He'll simply start throwing tantrums until you let him spend the night with you,every night.

If you find yourself in this situation, ease your child out of your bed gently. Sit next to his bed as he falls asleep. Then, after a few nights, sit in the doorway, before leaving the room completely. Explain that when it's time to sleep, he must sleep in his bed. Remain firm but kind and you'll get there.


Mistake 6: moving to a big bed too soon
If you move your child from his cot to a bed too soon, you may find him wandering around the house in the early hours. Before the age of three, your child doesn't have the understanding or self-control to stay within the imaginary boundaries of a bed.

The best thing to do is trial your child in a big bed. If it's still not working out after a week, then there's nothing wrong with moving him back to the cot. In a couple of months, give the bed another go. Just remember that no child at school is still in a cot, and yours won't be either. Try to stay relaxed about it all.

If you're still facing sleep issues with your baby, talk to other parents on our forum. Go to your community to get tips on baby's sleep.