It's tough being a working mom. Nah it's tough being a mom. Period.

Every day is a dilemma.

It's been 7 months since I went back to work. He's now not only used to his grandparents, but also very sticky to them.

Dilemma #1: Mommy = bad mood? When he's in a good mood in the morning, I have to rush to get him and myself ready and we have no chance to spend quality time together. By the time we get to see him, we have to eat dinner, then rush (again) to bring him home for bed. No time for quality time, just grouchy and some crying. Sigh.

Dilemma #2: As long as you're happy, baby. Compared to the time I first started work, I can be more at ease because I know he's now very used to his grandparents. Perhaps he even prefers being with his grandparents. It hurts when he'd rather have granny or grandpa carry him, when he's not seen mommy and daddy for the whole day. But well, as long as he's happy and well, I guess my feelings are secondary.

Dilemma #3: When I do get time with him, putting him to sleep is always such a challenge that it drains me so much I sometimes am really really tired of motherhood.

And those are just the tip of the ice berg So many other things on my mind I don't even know where to start.

1. My self-modified sleep training methods doesn't seem to be working these few days. (Or is he just teething? Or not used to a different environment?) I was worried this might happen when we move here. Cal is away this week and. To make things simpler for me, I decided to move to Cal's parents' so I won't have to bring Cayden to and fro everyday. But tonight and the night before, he refused to sleep even when he's clearly tired. He cried really hard until he puked on Monday. It was really worrying. I hope it's just teething. Otherwise re-sleep training will be PAINFUL.

2. For the first time in his life, on 10th Apr, mommy will not be around to tuck him into bed. (Maybe grandpa, grandma or daddy can find another cry-free way to put him to bed?) Putting him to sleep is the only constant thing I have been doing in his life. I can't feed him all the time, I've given up bathing him on weekdays, even teaching I don't stress myself too much about it if we can't sit down together on a weekday to read a book. And now bedtime routine too?? I feel like its the last thing we have together.....

3. Work is exploding

4. Cayden had some rashes on his hands - was it the dirty grass? Formula (can't be cos he's been drinking for a few weeks and had been fine)? Or could it be HFMD?!? (Good thing it's getting better. But I noticed some on his face today)

5. My tail bone is aching again - the same pain I got after giving birth

Well, that's why I say - its tough being a mom, whether SAHM, full time working mom or self-employed mom.

Sleep training woes II

Oh I'm terrible... took me so long to get back to this  

So back to the review of the workshop... The trainer, Tammy Fontana (see May's post for her full bio), was a 40+ American lady, eloquent, knew her content very well, could remember each of the parents' pain point at the workshop, and oh my god was she hard core or what! I wonder if she has kids (I think she mentioned she does), and whether those poor little children went through these steps too. But then again, come to think of it, she probably never offered a pacifier, rocked or patted her kids to sleep - ever.

To summarize her instructions:

1. 30min before bedtime, say 9.30pm, start bedtime routine
2. At bed time, 10pm, leave baby in cot alone. Baby does 7 min of quiet play. 'A sleep-trained child should fall asleep within 15 min.'
3. Baby should sleep all the way for 10 hours (average duration for 9-month old) till the next morning 8am without night feeds. '9-month olds do not need food at night.'
4. 10.30-11.30am: 2.5 hours after baby wakes up in the morning, he should take his first nap. Nap typically lasts about 45min-1 hour. 'That's the duration of 1 sleep cycle.'
5. 2-3pm: 2.5 hours after nap #1, he should take nap #2, also 45min-1 hour.
6. 5.30-6.30pm: 2.5 hours after nap #2, he should take nap #3, which should bring him into bedtime.

Durations between naps will drag further apart as baby ages, and number of naps will reduce.

Shocking things I learnt:

1. Sleep and food are totally unrelated
2. It's ok to wake a sleeping baby
3. Me: If naps should last 45min-1 hour, then how come he falls asleep immediately after I pick him up when he cries at the 45th min? Tammy: He's getting such poor quality of sleep at night that he's falling asleep again
4. Me: What if he vomits? Tammy: Just walk in and clean it up. And walk out. No drama. (ok, I'm paraphrasing her here about the drama part, but that's what she meant)

Things she emphasized on:

1. The most important is how he falls asleep during bedtime. Nap time doesn't matter
2. No form of aid is allowed for baby to fall alseep (e.g. pacifier, rock, pat, motion)
3. DO NOT cherry-pick the solutions. Follow everything if you want to see results

See what I mean about her being hard core? Armed with this new set of information, I pondered for daysss.... On one hand, I knew Cayden had to be taught how to fall asleep on his own, for his own good (and brain development), and for my own sanity. On the other hand, I knew we will not be able to just hear him cry behind the door and do NOTHING. What if he gets hurt or something? So I thought maybe I shall sit beside him and watch him. But "DO NOT CHERRY-PICK your solutions" kept ringing in my mind... How do I resolve this dilemma?

Cayden co-sleeps with us, but I've been trying to move him to his own mattress/bed in our own room. Usually our bedtime routine is clean, change, nurse, rock, rock, cry, struggle, rock, lullaby, rock, sleep. (There was a ridiculous point when rocking was not enough and Daddy had to carry him and run all over the house to put him to sleep. Yes, run.) And even after he sleeps, we were always on our toes that he could wake up anytime. So here's what I did. Boy, was it PAINFUL....

Night #1
9.50-10pm I carried him in my arms, but no rocking, no walking, no patting. He was crying, rolling, hands trashing, but fell asleep within 10 min (he was tired that day)
11-11.40pm HORRIBLE. Woke up, cried, vomited, struggled to break free from me, so I ended up leaving him on the bed. Kept crawling towards me. His cries sounded like pleas for me to take him out of this misery. I sat there and when he comes towards me, I hug him, sing to him. But the way he was rolling around seemed like he was having withdrawal symptoms, so so so many times I wanted to just pick him up and start rocking him. It took the last shred of mental resilience to keep reminding myself that - this is for the better. He finally fell asleep 40 mins later, sobbing away.....
6.35-7.05am woke up, cried, refuse to be carried stationary, kept pushing away and rolling away
7.05-7.10am gave milk, drowsy, fell asleep
8.45am wake up. Stick to sleep distribution schedule for naps in the day. (I actually found this to be particularly useful. 'Naps are to re-energize baby's brain so he can continue learning.')

Night #2
10pm bedtime routine, milk, story book, rolled onto bed, lullaby, tossed and fell asleep (!!!)
11.10pm stirred, cried, rolled around. Fell asleep after a while.
5.45am woke up, crying badly, gave milk
6.15am Fell asleep after lying n tossing in bed

Night #3 - similar to Night #2
Night #4 - slight struggle cos I moved him from our bed to his mattress bed (it's a kids sized mattress with soft edges). Instead of sitting and watching him, I ended up lying beside him as he rolls around the bed, hugging him from time to time, lullabying at the same time.

And I never looked back. 

Well, it's always easier to say things on hind sight, but this is really one of the best parenting decisions we've ever made. There's still a lingering thought that maybe he would have outgrown it. But from what I observed in the last 5-6 months, his problem was really not knowing how to fall back to sleep, and this is something that needs to be taught. 

Which brings me to my main message of this post - no matter what experts, experienced parents, books, forums say, ultimately we know our child and ourselves best, and we know what we can live with and what we cannot. There are so many schools of thought in so many different aspects of parenting, that there is no right and wrong. It's what suits your family best. (this is quite a good read)

In our case, we started being very against any sleep training which involved crying. Our philosophy has always been to give Cayden as much love and attention as possible. But his sleeping problems were interfering in his (some days he looks tired even after a nap) and mommy's daily activities. We had to act on it. But not to the extreme of leaving him in his cot alone, or PUPD, or moving the chair further and further away from the cot each night. So I cherry-picked the solutions - from different sources! Well, the truth is 6/10 times, he'll still struggle and fight me when I try an put him to bed. He has to be physically restrained to stop him from crawling out of his bed, and to make him lie down. I realized I didn't need him to be so independent to the extent of putting him in bed and he'll fall asleep alone. I realized I really don't mind (in fact may begin to enjoy if he has less of those struggling times) lying beside him as he tosses and turns and falls asleep. :)

This could be the first valuable lesson we are imparting to him, with many more to come. I just hope the rest aren't as tough as this one... 

First formula!

*gasp* Cayden had his first 1 oz of formula - at 10 months old! He didn't seem to detect a change in taste, maybe cos the quantity is really little. Fingers crossed his digestive tract reacts well to it!

Genesis & Sleep training woes

Friends who have known me for a while must be going 'oh no, not another one of Cindy's blogs!' I've dabbled in fashion, wedding planning and now babies? (When I started Happify, Cal predicted I'll move into kids stuff once we graduate to the next phase of our lives. And we (he) know he's always right.) Well, I guess writing is therapeutic for me. Just like taking a bath or shower. Like looking at the rain with a cup of hot tea in your palms. (yes, I'm an introvert. Ask Myers-Briggs.) But time is a luxury these days, and any 'free' time I have is spent running errands (looking for baby stuff), catching winks (though hardly possible), or getting a hair cut (need to go to work looking less like a mad woman).

Genesis
But I digress. This was originally meant to keep a record of all the useful information (e.g. tips and theories), as well as Cayden's developmental milestones (which I have unfortunately added none, but luckily Cal has been religiously noting in his iPhone). I thought a blog would be convenient to sort by categories or chronologically when I need to refer to them again at #2. And I was recently inspired by Mommy May and Mommy Addie. I enjoy reading their posts, their journey, their thoughts, that I felt the urge to start writing (again).

Twinkle twinkle little star
Specifically, I was inspired by May's Sleep Doctor post. May and I attended a sleep training workshop which left us (and the other attendees) with heavy hearts. (Read all about what we learnt in May's post!) If you notice the labels on the right, 'Sleeping' has been tagged most. The past 9+ months, I have battled constantly with Cayden's sleeping and feeding problems. (More on feeding in a separate entry.) We have read countless of websites, forum discussions, books (kinda)...tried all means - pacifier (he belched), sarong (he thought it was a swing for playing), introduce comfort toy (he started eating it), co-sleeping (didn't work). Nothing could get Cayden to sleep other than nursing and/or rocking.

Colic
It started when he was 3+/4 weeks old. Every evening, he'd cry non-stop from 7-10pm. NOTHING could soothe him. We changed, I nursed, we carried, we rocked, we burped, we lullabied, we played (supposedly) soothing music. We gave gripe water/rid wind, tried ru yi oil, but nothing worked. For about 6-8 weeks, the least we could do was to carry and rock him until he cried himself to sleep. Mommy cried with him many times too.

A workout?
But that formed a habit. For me, I thought of it is as a workout (he was still about 4-5kg only). I had kilos to shed anyway, and I believed he'll outgrow the rocking at some point. At that time, 20-30mins of rocking him to sleep meant he could sleep through from 10pm-5am. Hmm pretty worth it I thought. Sleep training had never crossed my mind.

Sleep-deprived mommy is a grumpy wife
Then at about 16-18 weeks, he suddenly started waking up at night. At first it was every 4 hours, then every 3 hours, then every TWO hours.... I couldn't take it... I had already started work then, and was barely able to cope with changes in schedules, balancing mommyhood and work, but also lack of sleep?! Bedtime routine didn't seem to help. Since if coincided with me going back to work, I thought it could be because he needed more mommy-ness. So we started co-sleeping.

It didn't work either. I waited and waited for him to outgrow it. Each day goes by and I get wearier and wearier. Sleep depravation had been used as a means of torture for prisoners of war. I was Cayden's POW.

I ploughed the internet, consulted friends - 'let him cry la.' Really? 'Ya, we did it. It's painful for a few nights, but after that it's peace.' How many nights? 'Yours 6 months ah, maybe 5-7 nights?' We resisted CIO. He had cried enough during his colic episodes. We didn't want him to go through this kinda of emotional trauma again, and searched for 'cry-less' solutions. There was once I spent hours at Kino shelves flipping through sleep help books, hoping to buy a whole stack. Alas, every single one of them involved crying. I went home empty-handed that day.

Desparate
We carried on rocking him to sleep (no it's not a JUST workout anymore at 9kg), waking up every 2 hours with him, until I knew I was reaching my breaking point. I was desperate. I need to retain my sanity. I needed more help. That was when I stumbled upon the sleep training workshop. I asked May to join me cos she's tried CIO on Ewan too.

To be continued...
This post is getting too long and my eyes are glazing over... In the next post, I'll go straight to the point with the workshop review!

Night peeps

A heavy heart

I knew this was an eventuality. I knew this day would come. But still, it was with a heavy heart as I took down that tin of formula from the shelf. 

Nestle NAN HA for >10 months

Breastfeeding has indeed been quite a journey for me. It started even before I was pregnant - I knew I wanted to give my baby(s) the most natural source of nutrients. (I will not turn this into a 'Breast is Best' post.) However, this nagging feeling that I may not have enough kept worrying me (especially not being particularly well-endowed!). 

When we found out I was expecting, I read up about the topic and spoke to mothers. These are some of the things I learnt:

1. Engorgement is PAINFUL
2. Why pump? Just latch.
3. You WILL have milk, it's just a matter of when
4. Perseverance is the key to success

Armed with these pearls of wisdom, I invested in a Medela Freestyle, and reminded Cal to knock sense into me if I ever wanted to give up at any point of time or for whatever reason. 

On 3 May, 4.31pm, baby Cayden was welcomed into the world! After being cleaned and swaddled, I brought him close to me, and he immediately started rooting! 'That's a good sign!' I thought. Little was I to know that was the beginning of Cayden's ad-tit-tion (addiction to tits, a termed which Daddy coined, which I have shared more in another post.)

*warning single men without sisters who breastfeed should not read on*

I will add a 5th point to my list above: The first month is the WORST. Well, at least MY first month was the worst. My supply came on day 3 before we discharged from the hospital - I was sooo relieved! But then after that, I found I couldn't nap/sleep for >3 consecutive hours cos it was either my own biological clock going 'riiiing riiing, moo moo time', or the real baby is hungry. Since the baby can't be ignored, I tried ignoring the moo moo clock, but it was impossible to sleep with two rock-hard, painful lumps. 

Week 2 was more of the same of week 1. Tiring, painful, doubts (why did Cayden puke? is he latching correctly?)... It was so difficult I really really wanted to give up.

Week 3 ok I'll give it my last shot. Get a lactation consultant to help and see what I'm doing wrong. Turns out the only 'problem' I had was that my supply was too abundant - I was filling up too quickly (hence engorgement) and my flow was too fast for newborn Cayden (that's why he pukes cos he can't drink fast enough). Solution (don't laugh) - chilled cabbages. For application, not consumption.

Week 4 And we thought the worse was over, until Cayden was diagnosed with breastmilk jaundice. After 5 days of home photo-therapy and 3D2N of hospitalization, we had to decide between (a) wait it out for is to clear naturally at 8 weeks, or (b) give formula for 5 days but risk him not wanting to latch after that. It was tempting to go for (b) becos we were guaranteed that the jaundice will go away after 5 days. But what if he didn't want to latch after that? What if he's not getting the best nutrients? On the flip side, I had to endure his little yellow face (and body) every day reminding me how I am the cause of his jaundice.

We went with (a) and the rest, as they say, is history. 

Tomorrow Cayden will create new history by having his first taste of formula. With this journey coming to a (near) end, I look back with mostly fond memories despite the bumpy ride. For the sake of all those antibodies and quiet times we have together, yup, it's more than worth it :)

Failed Chicken + Carrot Pasta :(

When it comes to introducing solids or new foods to Cayden, I'm generally more excited than him. Since his first Bellamy cereal meal (which didn't end so well cos he had bloody stools/cow's milk allergy), I took a liking to Bellamy. Perhaps it's the cute baby picture or the organic brand positioning that appeals to me.

Anyhow, I was excited to find out that baby pasta is quite commonly fed to babies around 7/8 months, especially in the western world. I was even more excited to stumble upon Bellamy's brown rice pasta for 7+ months babies.

Excited me decided Cayden should try it since he's not been hot about porridge. Maybe pasta would entice him more?

So off I went to buy the chicken breast, chop the carrots, boil the pasta. After running between the stove and crawling Cayden, then blender and crawling Cayden, it's done!

I tried it and it's quite yummy indeed!
Alas, Cayden didn't like it one bit :( it seems to be too gluey, so i must find a way to make it more watery.. wasted mummy's efforts... Better luck next time mummy!

Finding a new fruit for Cayden - Apricots!

I was so close to introducing the power fruit blueberry to Cayden last week, only to find out that he could still be at risk of being allergic to it :( 

"In the book, Managing Food Allergy and Intolerance, blueberries are recommended between 6-9 months old. There are also several other pediatric allergy books that say that blueberries are ok from 6-9 months old as well. Please note that some studies show that blueberries "are, however, rarely allergenic" but "may trigger allergic reactions. Most common symptoms, if any: swelling of the lips and eyelids, itchy swollen rash." The odds are great that your baby will not have an adverse reaction to blueberries if they are introduced between 8-9 months old."
http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/blueberrybabyfoodrecipes.htm#.UOcQFm_qmwQ

So i went in search of another power fruit and found apricots! 
- yummilicious - CHECKED
- nutritious - CHECKED
- easily available - CHECKED
- easily prepared - CHECKED

Will start with pure apricot puree and maybe plus cereal, before moving onto more exciting concoctions :)

1. Apricots + bananas
2. Apricot + carrot
3. Apricots + brown rice + chicken breast (8-10 months)
4. Others http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/apricot-baby-food-recipes.html

Mummy can soon join the club of Kai Kai & Jia Jia

And we continue to battle Cayden's sleep problems....

Establishing good sleep habits: 6 to 9 months

Typical sleep at this age 

Babies this age need about 14 hours of sleep per day and are capable of sleeping for as long as seven hours at a time. If your baby sleeps for longer than that, she's probably waking up briefly but has figured out how to settle herself back to sleep - a sign that she's becoming a good sleeper. She's probably having a couple of hour-and-a-half to two-hour naps each day by now, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Keeping consistent times for bed and naps will help to regulate her sleep patterns. 

How you can help your child to settle and sleep 

At this age, these are some of the best things you can do to help your baby settle and sleep at night:

Establish and follow a bedtime routine.
While you've probably already set up some sort ofbedtime routine, at this age your child will really begin to participate in it. Whether your routine includes giving your baby a bath, playing a quiet game, getting your child ready for bed, reading a bedtime story or two or singing a lullaby, make sure you do it in the same order and at the same time every night.

Your child will appreciate the consistency (babies like having routines and schedules that they can count on), and your bedtime routine will also signal that it's time to wind down and get ready for sleep.

Keep your child's daily routine - including bedtimes and naptimes - consistent.
You'll both benefit from having a daily routine which includes set times for bed and naps. That doesn't mean your baby has to eat lunch at exactly 12:15 every afternoon, but it does mean that you should generally try to stick to a predictable schedule. When your baby naps, eats, plays, and gets ready for bed at about the same time every day, she'll be much more likely to fall asleep easily.

Make sure your child has plenty of opportunities to fall asleep on her own.
If you want your baby to sleep through the night without calling for you, she needs to learn to fall asleep by herself. Put her down before she nods off, and try not to let her become dependent on rocking or breastfeeding to fall asleep. If she cries, the next move is up to you; most experts advise waiting at least a few minutes to see if she's really upset. Some other approaches are shown below in our Approaches to sleep problemssection. 

Potential pitfalls 

Babies who have never had sleep problems may suddenly start waking up at night or have difficulty falling asleep at this age. Why? Sleep disturbances often come hand-in-hand with separation anxiety, when she wakes in the night, misses you, and worries you won't return.

They may also be linked with your baby reaching major milestones in cognitive and motor development. Around now, she is learning to sit up, roll over, crawl, and possibly even pull herself up to a standing position - quite a list of achievements! Not surprisingly, she probably won't want to stop practicing her new skills at bedtime and may get so excited that she'll wake up to try sitting up just one more time.

However, if she gets too energetic - or worse, if she sits or stands up and can't get back down - she won't be able to go back to sleep right away. If that's the case, she'll soon start crying for you. You will need to teach her how to lie down if she's stuck in an upright position, but how you help her soothe herself back to sleep is up to you. Most experts say it's fine to go in and check on her, but after that the advice varies. See ourApproaches to sleep problems below.

A quick note: This burst in development isn't the same as a growth spurt, so feeding your baby during the night won't help her sleep better; in fact, it may prolong the problem and make it worse.

You may also want to try this tip from a sleep expert: "If your baby is going to bed after 8:30 p.m. and all of a sudden she begins to wake during the night, you'll find that, surprisingly, she's much more likely to sleep through the night if you move her bedtime earlier by a half hour. It really works. Try it." 

Approaches to sleep problems 

What do you do when your child keeps waking up at night - and you know she's old enough to sleep all the way through? If you want her to sleep through the night without calling for you, the main thing is to make sure she learns how to settle herself back down - by finding her thumb, cuddling a transitional object, or some other way.

At this age, your child will probably be able to soothe herself, but you may still need to help her develop self-comforting techniques. Most of the experts agree that you should try to avoid letting your child become dependent on external conditions such as music, lighting, and feeding to fall asleep; if she does, she'll need the same things every time she wakes up at night before she can drop off again.

When it comes to getting your six to nine-month old baby to sleep through the night, there is no one right approach. Look through the suggestions below from a variety of experts and choose a strategy which you feel could work for you.

Approach 1
As long as you're putting your baby to sleep on her own at bedtime, it's all right to do what you think will help her go back to sleep, such as rocking her or pacing the floor until she falls asleep. If her bedtime routine is consistent, night waking should diminish in a few weeks. If this doesn't work, try a checking routine: if your child is crying, go back into her room. Pat her on the back and tell her that everything is okay, but that it's time to go to sleep. Don't pick her up or cuddle her; be gentle but firm. Leave. Wait about five minutes, then check again. Do this repeatedly until she falls asleep, gradually increasing the time you're gone.

Approach 2
It's important to put your baby down when she's awake so she'll learn to settle herself to sleep, both when you first put her down and if she wakes up during the night. If you're not doing this, consider changing your nighttime routine. If your baby won't stay asleep, try letting her cry for progressively longer intervals of time before you go to her. Start at five minutes, increase to 10, and so on. Between intervals, you can spend about two to three minutes with your baby, reassuring her by talking to her and possibly patting her on the back. Don't pick her up or rock her or give her a pacifier or a bottle to help calm her down - she'll only learn to depend on these conditions to fall asleep and won't be able to do it on her own.

Approach 3
Your baby should be sleeping eight hours at a stretch by now. If she wakes up at night, give her a few minutes to settle herself before going to her. If she keeps crying, talk to and comfort her, but don't pick her up, take her to your bed, or feed her (unless you're positive she's really hungry and not just seeking solace).

Approach 4
With developmental milestones coming on fast and furious, many babies this age wake at night because they're just too excited to sleep. If your baby wakes up after only a few hours, let her find her own way back to sleep using self-comforting techniques such as thumb sucking. Once she's a little older and the risk of cot death is lower, you can give her a transitional object such as a teddy, too. When she wakes up, don't feed her or jump up and go to her at her first cry.

Approach 5
Be flexible. Don't let your baby cry it out. Instead, try to find the source of her wakefulness (such as a full diaper, hunger, upset routines during the day, a stuffy nose, or even irritating pajamas). Increase her daytime attachment to you (breastfeeding, carrying her in a sling and so on) and let dad play the role of nighttime co-comforter so both parents can help their child fall back to sleep.

There is no "right" way to encourage your child to settle and sleep through the night. You need to choose an approach that will work for you and your family.

Are we doing it wrong??

6 sleep mistakes parents make and how to avoid them
Getting young children to sleep, and to stay asleep, is one of the biggest challenges of early parenthood. Fortunately, we can help you side-step the most common sleep mistakes and improve your chances of a good night's rest.


Mistake 1: putting your child to bed too late
When you've been at work all day, it can be tempting to keep your baby or toddler up so you can spend more time with him. Or maybe you hope he'll become so tired, he'll eventually crash out.

Whatever the reason, it's not a good idea to keep your child up. When babies and toddlers get over-tired, they find it more difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. They tend to wake up earlier than if they went to bed at a more reasonable hour, too.

It’s much better to have a bedtime routine in place and stick to it. Don’t wait until your child is yawning and rubbing his eyes to put it in action. Even 15 to 20 minutes of extra sleep can make all the difference.


Mistake 2: relying on motion
Have you ever breathed a sigh of relief as your baby snoozes in his car seat or baby swing? While this can provide you with a well-deserved break, don't fall into the trap of relying on motion to get your baby to fall asleep. It's impractical to have to take your baby for a drive every night. He's also unlikely to get the deep, restful sleep he needs.

It's fine to use motion to soothe your baby if he's upset or fussy. Just don't make part of his regular bedtime routine.


Mistake 3: overstimulation
While you may have put a mobile above your baby's cotfor comfort, the rotating toys, sounds and lights can be a distraction. Watching them will keep him awake rather than teach him that it's nighttime.

It's much better to put your baby to sleep in a nearly pitch black room, or a darkened room with very little light streaming in. Don't worry about him being afraid. He's too young to have developed nighttime fears. A fan or white noise album may also help, as it will muffle any noise from the rest of the house or outside.

As your child gets older, a soft night light can soothe any fears. Don't let him watch any television just before bedtime. Even falling asleep in front of his favourite DVD means he will probably lose half an hour of precious sleep. This could affect his mood and behaviour the next day, which no one wants!


Mistake 4: skipping the bedtime routine
With a baby, you might assume that a routine consisting of a bath, a book and a lullaby isn't yet necessary. As your child gets older, you may start to feel he's too old for a bedtime routine. Or maybe you feel too tired to continue with it.

But having a series of calming, pleasing activities before bedtime is important, as it prepares your little one for sleep. Even adults benefit from having some kind of wind-down routine each night. You can't expect your child to go straight from a busy day to bed either. He simply won't get the sleep he needs.

You can create any routine you like for your child. Just make sure it's a series of relaxing steps that happen in the same order at about the same time every night.


Mistake 5: inconsistency
A couple of times a week, when he's clingy, it's tempting to lie down with your toddler in your bed until he falls asleep. Or maybe you put your preschooler down in his room but allow him to crawl into bed with you in the night. Before you know it, your marital bed is a family bed.

Your child won't be able to understand why you move him into his own bed sometimes, and allow him to stay in yours on other occasions. He'll simply start throwing tantrums until you let him spend the night with you,every night.

If you find yourself in this situation, ease your child out of your bed gently. Sit next to his bed as he falls asleep. Then, after a few nights, sit in the doorway, before leaving the room completely. Explain that when it's time to sleep, he must sleep in his bed. Remain firm but kind and you'll get there.


Mistake 6: moving to a big bed too soon
If you move your child from his cot to a bed too soon, you may find him wandering around the house in the early hours. Before the age of three, your child doesn't have the understanding or self-control to stay within the imaginary boundaries of a bed.

The best thing to do is trial your child in a big bed. If it's still not working out after a week, then there's nothing wrong with moving him back to the cot. In a couple of months, give the bed another go. Just remember that no child at school is still in a cot, and yours won't be either. Try to stay relaxed about it all.

If you're still facing sleep issues with your baby, talk to other parents on our forum. Go to your community to get tips on baby's sleep.